The act of judgment is I think, a habit we unconsciously adopt living in this kind of society. Looking at people here, people there, questions arise. Like, why do these people do this? Wear that? Say that?

So many question can pop up, creating numerous answer based from numerous perspective and condition. Just imagine, if every one person, doing one thing, in one specific time are judged differently each time by themselves, their parents, their neighbor, their friends, the stranger in the internet with their own perspective created by their own condition, just how much judgment has been happening?

Or the other way around. Imagine we have the tendency to judge each time we met someone, doing one thing, in one specific time. Each shift of of our eyes are a motion of judgment. He this, she that, they this, they that. Somehow that thought truly concern me. I mean, between those questionable number of judgment, just how much is truly “true”? And how much negative emotion unconsciously slip between those flashing moment? It may be short, but it’s surely uncountable.

For a moment I suddenly understand why wise people keep telling us to learn to stop judging people. If half of those are speculative and negative, just imagine how much accusation and bitterness have accumulated by us? Of course not all of them are bad, sometimes it’s just a wondering question or ensuring answer. But I can’t help but feel the need to be very cautious about judging, and I did have managed it better now. But every time I heard someone saying to stop doing it like they are capable of not doing it at all, I question myself,

That is, a question I would love experienced people to answer on.

Writing these text, I am well aware that the first few paragraph felt very accusing. Like pointing out that everyone loves judging (negatively). In fact, I know it isn’t. A lot of us has grown mature year after year. But, I found that talking about the worse consequences or scenario gave much more clarity of how terrifying something is, especially for something intangible like “an act of judgement”. They are like a small seed people can easily ignore. Only when people shows the huge tree and the deep root grown from such a small seed will people truly see the horror of it. And that’s probably why I feel the need to write it that way. As a reminder for myself and other people.

Aside of the previous (terrifying) realization, from those reflection I start to see how insignificant people’s judgment is. Again, between those questionable number of judgment, just how much is truly “true”? How many people are capable to understand my perspective and condition to express the right judgment? I mean, most of them doesn’t understand my life so they definitely don’t understand my perspective and condition. Thus, nearly 90% of those are unreliable truth, why bother to listen? There is nothing we can get from it. No point in giving them attention.

But of course we are all just a human being. There will always time when the buzz of a bee can drive us crazy. I once wrote this on my Twitter,

And I still agreed with it. What matter is, we kept our principle so we could always pivot back.

I don’t know if this text will help. I definitely appreciate it if you leave any feedback. But if there’s anything you want to point out or discuss, feel free send your feedback because I certainly have limited perspective and experience. You can send it to my email [email protected], or if you prefer sending it anonymously, you can send message to my Padlet here.

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With Love,
Riena Lynn.